How to Make or Get Your Cat Pregnant

Alternate title: How to Impregnate Your Cat - Warning, humor may be present

How to get or make your cat pregnant

  1. First, examine the cat to ascertain its gender. If wrong gender, get another cat. Repeat this process until you have obtained the correct gender cat.
  2. Second, wait until evening. Toss cat out door or window. Only utilize the window option when residing in a single or first floor residence. Now this is especially important; do not do the cat tossing until after rush hour traffic has subsided. Cats and traffic don’t mix.
  3. Repeat the above procedure daily until you see the cat wandering back in the morning smoking a cigarette. If this still has not occurred after 10 tosses, then it is time to examine the cat again.
  4. This time take the cat to the vet. If the vet informs you the cat has been spayed or is otherwise hampered as to fertility issues, you will have to start all over again.
  5. If the vet says the cat is fine, then obviously all the male cats in your neighborhood are a bunch of slackers.
  6. You will have to buy a male cat. Do so.
  7. Place both cats in a sealed room and close the door. If there is yowling, open the door and remove the male cat. The yowling you heard was the female cat rejecting the male cat. The male cat you selected is not up to your female cat’s standards. Return to store and select different male cat. This time try to find one that’s got some class.
  8. Repeat the above process until silence reigns supreme behind the closed door.

Your work is done here.



For more nonsense, there is the Flash Fiction Online Stories page.

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