List of Things That Will Happen When Hell Freezes Over

Otherwise Known as Things That Will Never Happen

Things that will happen when hell freezes over aka things that will never happen.


Though it wasn't planned that way, some of the items here turned out to be serious. However, there is also humor scattered here, there, and everywhere.

Yes, friends. This page is dedicated to listing all things that will happen when hell freezes over, otherwise known as things that will never happen. Got a really good one? Add it in the comments section below! We'll add them to the list. You can include religion, politics, business, life, and pretty much anything else that comes to mind. An open forum. Have fun. Many items here are from contributors from a previous project. Contradictory views are expressed.

Things That Will Happen When Hell Freezes Over


  • Peace on earth goodwill toward men.
  • The national debt will be paid off.
  • Politicians become honest.
  • People will make educated decisions when voting.
  • CEO's become honest.
  • The medical industry becomes honest.
  • The banking industry becomes honest.
  • The credit card companies become honest.
  • The insurance industry becomes honest.
  • The auto repair industry becomes honest.
  • Printer ink cartridges will no longer have a 300% markup.
  • Adobe software stops paper saturation draining of printer cartridges.
  • American corporations become loyal to America.

  • Robocalls will go away.
  • Telephone solicitors will go away.
  • Spammers will go away.
  • Junk mail will go away.
  • You will never again hear on TV, "But wait! There's more!"
  • You will never again hear on TV, "But wait! If you order now...!"
  • Daytime TV shows will get some class.
  • The preachers on TV will stop asking for money.

  • When the Duggars undergo sterilization.
  • When the children of celebrities stop writing humiliating tell-all books about their parents.
  • Jehovah Witnesses leave people alone.
  • Dogs stop licking their private parts.
  • Cats will actually give a F about what their owners want.

  • Someone will live a full life without ever once having something stolen from them.
  • Someone will live a full life without ever once being falsely accused of something.

  • Dry cleaners apologize and reimburse you when they ruin your clothes.
  • Supermarkets put the best deals on the middle shelves.
  • Pay day loan services stop robbing people blind.
  • Cable companies stop robbing people blind.

  • Offices really do go paperless.
  • There is meritocracy in the corporate world.

  • The Supreme Court, Congress, and the President become aware of the 10th amendment.
  • Cities, counties, and states become aware of the 4th, 5th, 8th, and 9th amendments.
  • You will have civil rights even when you don't have money.

  • Flies and chihuahuas stop being obnoxious.
  • Cockroaches, fleas, bedbugs, mosquitoes, and supermarket front door panhandlers stop wanting to be your friend.
  • Lawyers incorporate ethics into their strategies.
  • The news media becomes unbiased.

  • When the food supplies of the planet are evenly distributed.
  • When people's status and worth are not determined by how much money they make.
  • Life becomes fair.
  • Fear and worry stop being a major factor in life.

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