How to Use Your Cat as a Bowling Ball

Bowling for Cats

First, you’ve got to get the bowling pins. Proceed to your favorite toy store. You are looking for the indoor, soft, lightweight, kid-safe type. The kind your cat won’t mind spinning into and having them fall on him; foam, cotton, etc. comes to mind.

If you don’t already have one, also pick up a laser pointer. You’re going to need that.

OK, Time for the Setup…

Set up your bowling pins in the kitchen or other smooth-floor room, where you don’t care that the floor is about to pick up a whole bunch of new scratch marks. Cement floors are not an option; the cat won’t slide that well, and it definitely wouldn’t be good for their claws. Be sure there is lots of space behind the bowling pins, or place pillows or whatever behind the pins; in other words, you want sufficient space or something soft for the cat to end up in.

Warm-up Time…

Place the cat at the other end of your brand new bowling alley. Shine the laser pointer on the floor directly in front of the cat, so that the cat is facing the pins.

Move it around a little bit until the cat starts trying to paw or go after it.

Action Time…

Accelerate the pointer directly towards the pins. Do it just fast enough to keep ahead of the cat. But keep going faster to increase the cat speed to the maximum possible.

When near the pins, quickly swerve the pointer left or right. This should induce the cat to make a similar left or right compensating turn…

Your objective is for the cat to do an epic fail. In other words, the cat won’t be able to successfully make the turn. When done right, the cat will flatten out and spin into the bowling pins.

Did You Get a Strike?

Probably not. This is obviously going to take some practice…

Give the cat one small food treat tidbit after each bowling attempt. It won’t take long before the cat puts two and two together; at which point, you will have a bowling partner for life. And what with all the exercise, you'll have the healthiest cat in town.

Side note one. If your cat is the 1-in-a-100 cat that doesn’t chase laser pointers, try catnip or get another cat.

Side note two. Cats do indeed have memories and the ability to learn. Failure to provide the tidbit bribe will eventually lead to the cat ignoring the laser pointer.

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