Things That Will Never Happen - Funny and Serious

Latest update: April 23, 2023. Page URL indicates original publication date; meanwhile, times change and the updates continue.

Otherwise Known as a List of Things That Will Happen When Hell Freezes Over

Things that will happen when hell freezes over aka things that will never happen.

Though it wasn't planned that way, some of the items here turned out to be serious. In fact, parts of these lists are quite brutal. However, there is also humor scattered here and there.

Yes, friends. This page is dedicated to listing all things that will happen when hell freezes over, otherwise known as things that will never happen. Got a really good one? Add it in the comments section below. We'll add them to the list. You can include religion, politics, business, life, and pretty much anything else that comes to mind. An open forum. Have fun. Many items here are from contributors from a previous project. Contradictory views are expressed. has over one million page views and is looking for reputable advertisers.

Things That Will Never Happen - List One

  • Peace on earth, goodwill towards men.
  • Peace on earth, goodwill towards women.
  • Mobs stop being stupid.
  • The national debt will be paid off.
  • Politicians become honest.
  • Politicians become competent.
  • People will make educated decisions when voting.
  • CEO's become honest.
  • The medical industry becomes honest.
  • The banking industry becomes honest.
  • The credit card companies become honest.
  • The insurance industry becomes honest.
  • The auto repair industry becomes honest.
  • Printer ink cartridges will no longer have a 200% markup.
  • Adobe software stops paper saturation draining of printer cartridges.
  • American corporations become loyal to America.
  • Pay day loan services stop robbing people blind.
  • Cable companies stop robbing people blind.

Things That Will Never Happen - List Two

  • Robocalls will go away.
  • Telephone solicitors will go away.
  • Spammers will go away.
  • Junk mail will go away.
  • Scammers will go away.
  • Daytime TV shows will get some class.
  • The preachers on TV will stop asking for money.
  • When the children of celebrities stop writing humiliating tell-all books about their parents.
  • Jehovah Witnesses leave people alone.
  • Dogs stop licking their private parts.
  • Cats will actually give an F about what their owners want.
  • Weeds respect your property line.
  • Gophers respect your property line.
  • Bureaucracies  will stop obstructing you in everything you try to do.

Things That Will Never Happen - List Three

  • Someone will live a full life without ever once having something stolen from them.
  • Someone will live a full life without ever once being falsely accused of something.
  • There is meritocracy in the corporate world.
  • The Supreme Court, Congress, and the President become aware of the 10th amendment.*
  • Cities, counties, and states become aware of the 4th, 5th, 8th, and 9th amendments.*
  • You have civil rights even when you don't have money.*
  • Women stop being second-class citizens in certain countries and societies.
  • Laws stop being passed that make men second-class citizens in some countries.
  • Laws stop being passed that give animals more civil rights than humans in some countries.
  • Bureaucracy Voicemail Hell ceases to exist.
  • Incompetence ceases to exist.
  • Hidden agendas cease to exist.

Things That Will Never Happen - List Four

  • Dry cleaners apologize and reimburse you when they ruin your clothes.
  • Supermarkets put the best deals on the middle shelves.
  • Flies and chihuahuas stop being obnoxious.
  • Cockroaches, fleas, bedbugs, mosquitoes, and supermarket front door panhandlers stop wanting to be your friend.
  • Lawyers incorporate ethics into their strategies.
  • Courts become aware of the 4th and 6th amendments.*
  • State DMVs become aware of the 5th amendment.*
  • The news media becomes unbiased.
  • Forum trolls disappear.
  • Murphy takes a holiday.
  • Darwin takes a holiday.

Things That Will Never Happen - List Five

  • When the food supplies of the planet are evenly distributed.
  • When justice is based on truth, as opposed to who has the best lawyer.
  • When incompetent and criminal doctors are reported by the other doctors.
  • When incompetent and criminal dentists are reported by the other dentists.
  • When corrupt hospitals are reported by the hospital's employees.
  • When people's status and worth are not determined by how much money they make or have.
  • Life becomes fair.
  • Fear and worry stop being a major part of life.

*Although this page was originally intended as humor, parts of this page turned out to reveal our serious loss of civil rights that have occurred over the years. This particularly applies to cities counties, and states. Many cities, counties, and states openly admit their justice system is designed for the purpose of collecting revenue; the concept of civil rights and justice have basically been thrown out the window. Here is an example from NBC News of what happens to people who drive in Las Vegas, Clark County, Nevada: ...$4,431 in traffic tickets ballooned to $20,000 in debt and the threat of arrest. The system is “money hungry,"...

While we are at it, here is a cautionary article about signing contracts:

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  1. Got it, maybe on the 12th of Never?

  2. Also Add cancellation of cbse exams.which will never happen ����

  3. My boss will actually give me enough time to professionally complete a task.

  4. And my dad coming back with the milk

  5. Everyone will agree they have some kind of addiction (drugs, food, music, exercise, etc...)


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